Little lost lamb

[Rosangela Fitton]

With a heavy sigh Rosangela watched as the last rays of the sun dissapeared from sight as it descended behind the rooftops that surrounded her. It wouldn't be long till it would be completly dark and Rosangela would once again be alone. Alone to think over her own private thoughts without having anyone to question or judge her.

Of course, she didn't have to be alone, she had her maid Marie, and there was an extra room which the young maid could use. But Rosangela always dismissed her for the evening and allowed the young girl to stay with her friends and family. After all, she didn't need Marie during the night, and it would only make her feel uncomfortable if she knew someone was watching her.

After all, the dark hours of the night was when Rosangela practised her singing. She knew her voice was good, but she still needed practice. And although she was normally quite a confident women, she deeply feared singing around others in case they thought her voice... disgusting. She was very concious about her voice, and she didn't take too well to insults over her singing.

But she had come to Paris in high hopes of gaining confidence and singing in the famous Opera Populair. Sadly though, when she had arrived in Paris, the Opera house had been burnt to the ground. When she had talked to people, she had discovered it had burnt down ten years ago. Which surprised Rosangela because she had never heard of the event in England. Then again, not many Englishman knew of the Opera Populair. She only knew because she had often come to Paris on a holiday.

But now that it was destroyed, her high hopes of becoming an Opera singer was gone, of course she could go to the Opera Magnificant. But she had heard it was tough to get in there, and she didn't have the strength to try and fight her way into there. At least not yet, maybe soon she would. But for now all she had to do was find a teacher and train her voice to perfection.

As the moon began to rise, Rosangela smiled and sat in her bedroom chair. She found herself thinking over the past few months that had happened. She had left her family and friends behind, moved her, gotten a maid and had been getting to know a few people that lived around her. And from that she had learnt bits and pieces of what had happened to the Opera Populair. Not many people liked to talk of it. But there had been many mentions of a ghost. Which Rosangela had found herself laughing at.

She was a Christian, and she believed in no ghosts, only the Lord and the holy spirit. The talk of a ghost haunting the Opera house had amused her greatly. It was probably tricks and ilusions, or some simple girl making up stories. But from looking at people, she had seen that this silly fantasy had gotten quite deep. And she feared for the many people around her, it was not good to live in a world of dreams.

Looking at her clock, she decided that it was a good time to start her practice. Rising from her chair she opened the large doors that led out onto her balcony and pulled the thin curtains across to add as a small shield against the elements. It was slightly warm inside and she needed a cool breeze. But she didn't wish for there to be a large amount because it was Winter and she knew she could easily catch a cold if she wasn't careful.

Breathing deeply, she put her hand on her stomach area and closed her eyes. Memories flooded her mind, memories of her father; the very man who had started her teaching in singing. Her father was a musician so she had a musical ear and had picked up on things that surrounded her. Her father had noticed this and had begun to train her. But he could only do so much.

A sense of lonliness washed over Rosangela, and she felt small tears form in her eyes. She missed her family alot, and her friends. But truthfully she had always been alone, the majority of her friends were married and some even had children. Even her sister had someone to love her. But did she? No, never. Most people stayed away, they didn't see her like they saw other people. Rosangela had never known why.. but she was seen as an outcast. And it had caused her to become lonely. But she hoped that at least here she could find love.

"There's a saying old
Says that love is blind.
Still we're often told
"Seek and ye shall find."
So I'm going to seek a cenain lad I've had in mind.
Looking ev'rywhere,
Haven't found him yet;
He's the big affair I cannot forget -
Only man I ever think of with regret.
I'd like to add his initial to my monogram.
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?"

She sung softly as she began to connect with her secret emotions, nothing in her words lied. Every word spoke truth to her, and indeed to others. But even if the words she sung could relate to anyone and everyone... right now they were personal to her and only her.

"There's a somebody I'm longing to see:
I hope that he
Turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me.
I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood;
I know I could
Always be good
To one who'll watch over me.
Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome,
To my heart he carries the key
Don't you tell him, please, to put on some speed,
Follow my lead? Oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me"